一个人的状态The State of Being Alone
「一個人」的狀態，總是最糟的。 我覺得說一些我的個人經驗，於你無用，因為環境機遇不同。（多一半，還有自我吹噓的潛意識存在）。但，我可以給你一個，我母親給過我的，非常好的建議。
我母親曾經告誡過我，一個人的狀態，總是最糟的。你一人吃穿用，一人度日過日，非常容易解決，也非常容易跌入谷底，高興時無人分享，但，失志時，那種惡劣的狀態，卻只能一再重復浸淫。所以，要讓自己振作，第一件事，絕不要長期保持「一個人」的狀態。再不濟，你養條狗，這狗，都要逼你準時餵牠，準時拉牠出去運動，牠病了，你得給牠奔走求醫。你悲傷時，牠會給你溫暖，分攤你的愁苦。你成功時，牠會哈哈斥斥地笑張大嘴，靜坐在一邊共享你的快樂。牠是你的責任，也是你的負擔。按我母親說的，就是養條狗，你也不會是「一個人」。你可以不成家，你可以是失怙孤兒，你可以是找不見伴侶的同性戀，你可以悲慘到無以復加的地步，但，就是到那樣境地，你也要強迫自己，不要是一個人。孤獨殺手里昂，也要養盆花。孤獨殺手亞蘭德倫，也要養隻金絲雀。我個人的經驗是，只要你不是一個人，你即使不成功，但，也絕不會失敗。我一直記住老娘的教誨，一直在身上背著負擔。搞合唱團時，背著團員，搞劇團時，背著團員，開公司時，背著員工，寫劇本時，背著徒弟，拍戲時，背著債務，背著投資人。成家時，背著老婆孩子。因為總不是一個人，所以你荒唐不起來，也沒辦法混噩度日。如此，你謀生求職，你艱辛度日，你的理想事業，就是失敗了，但因為有負擔，不是一個人，只要保全了身上背著這些負擔，另一個層面來說，你也總是成功的。所以，只要你不是一個人，不是只為自己活，某種層面來說，你永遠不會失敗。你就是被車撞死了，死在半夜的馬路上，因為你不是一個人，就會至少有一個人在惦記著你。你的生命，就不會沒有意義。
The state of being “alone” is always the worst. I feel that telling you my personal experience would be of no use to you, since circumstances and opportunities differ. (And more than half of it, besides, would carry a subconscious streak of self-congratulation.) But I can give you one very good piece of advice that my mother once gave me.
My mother once warned me that the state of being alone is always the worst. Feeding and clothing only yourself, living day after day for yourself alone, is very easy to manage, and it is also very easy to sink to rock bottom. When you are happy there is no one to share it; but when you lose heart, that wretched state is one you can only steep in again and again. So, to pull yourself together, the first thing is: never stay in the state of being “alone” for long. At the very worst, keep a dog. Even a dog will force you to feed it on time and take it out to exercise on time; when it falls ill, you have to run around finding it a doctor. When you are sad, it gives you warmth and shares your sorrow. When you succeed, it grins wide, panting and huffing, and sits quietly at your side to share in your joy. It is your responsibility, and also your burden. As my mother put it, with even a dog to keep, you will not be “alone.” You may never start a family, you may be an orphan, you may be a gay man who cannot find a partner, you may be miserable beyond all measure. But even in such straits, you must force yourself not to be alone. Léon the lonely hitman still kept a potted plant. Alain Delon, another lonely killer, still kept a canary. My own experience is this: as long as you are not alone, you may not succeed, but you will absolutely never fail. I have always remembered my mother’s teaching, always carried burdens on my back. When I ran a choir, I carried the members; when I ran a theater troupe, I carried the troupe; when I started a company, I carried the employees; when I wrote scripts, I carried my apprentices; when I shot productions, I carried the debts, carried the investors. When I started a family, I carried my wife and children. Because you are never alone, you cannot afford to run wild, and you have no way to muddle through your days. And so you make your living, you get through the hard days, and even if your dream, your career, ends in failure, because you have burdens, because you are not alone, so long as you keep safe the burdens on your back, then on another level you have always succeeded. So, as long as you are not alone, as long as you do not live only for yourself, on a certain level you will never fail. Even if you are struck dead by a car, dying on the road in the middle of the night, because you are not alone there will be at least one person keeping you in their thoughts. Your life, then, will not have been without meaning.
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