知道为何而活，便能承受任何生活He who has a why to live can bear almost any how

Reposted from Zhihu Daily

Nietzsche has a line that is the best answer to this question: 

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how

Whatever the difficulty one faces, more important than the skill to overcome it is the motivation to overcome it. As long as the flame inside has not gone out, however bitter the cold wind blows, being alive is still a warm thing. What education in infancy and early childhood must do is light the flame inside a child. Teach them love, teach them the beauty of life, teach them hope, teach them how interesting all the knowledge in the world is. Once they hold a heartfelt love of life, no society, however cruel, can break them. 

If one does not love life, then given how cruel life is, what is the point of living at all? 

I am especially fond of Pericles’ oration at the funeral of the Athenian soldiers who fell in battle: 

We do not spend our time training ourselves to endure sufferings that have not yet arrived; but when we truly meet with suffering, we show ourselves every bit as brave as those who are forever under strict training. 

Why, then, could the Athenians, who unlike the Spartans did not endure harsh military training from childhood, achieve the same courage? Pericles believed it was because Athens was a great city, and the Athenians loved it from the bottom of their hearts: 

We love beauty, yet have not grown extravagant because of it; we love wisdom, yet have not grown soft because of it. Wealth we treat as something to be put to proper use, not as capital for boasting about ourselves. As for poverty, no one need be ashamed to admit to it; the true shame is stopping at nothing to escape it. … 

Further, on the question of friendship… we are unique. When we truly confer a kindness on others, we do so not out of any reckoning of our gain and loss, but out of our generosity, and we do not regret having done it. And so, if everything is weighed together, I may declare that our city is the school of all Hellas… 

Such is the city for which these martyrs fought without stinting and died without stinting, for the mere thought of losing it made them shudder. 

Give a child a reason to love life. 
See the discussion on Zhihu 
Should we raise children strictly? 

Cheng Dagong, a code monkey hoping to switch into the psychology/education field, seeking opportunities 
Last weekend I was a guest at my cousin’s home. She has a nine-year-old daughter who is very fond of me, because I will romp around and play with her. That evening, while we chatted in the living room, the little girl beside us clamored for me to take her off to play, got scolded by her parents, and could only resign herself to playing games on the computer alone. But she was not about to let it go: one moment she turned the volume way up, the next she talked loudly at the characters in her game, and her mom and dad could only scold her again and again. 

When she kicked up a fuss yet again, I sat down beside her, gathered her into my arms, looked into her eyes, and said with a gentle smile: “Qiqi, Uncle knows you want to play with me, and Uncle would love to play with you. It’s just that Uncle hasn’t seen your mommy and daddy for a long time and wants to talk with them a while. Wait a little longer, and once we’ve finished talking, I’ll come play with you, all right?” She nodded, and I stroked her head and said, “Good girl.” 

After that, she waited, good as gold, until our conversation was over. 

I am not married yet, let alone a father, but I have always loved children, and the children of relatives and friends all love playing with me. I believe children need respect, need love, need care, need to be treated gently. Some say that when reasoning fails, hitting, scolding, or stern intimidation is the only way. In fact it is not so. With children, reasoning is sometimes useless, because a very small child simply lacks logic and the capacity to understand. So what actually moves a child, what persuades a child, is your attitude toward her, the expression and tone with which you speak. These matter more than the content of the words. Care about a child’s feelings and wishes, and the child will care about yours. Only by reaching the heart can reason get through. 

Some will say: then what if the parents’ attitude is excellent and the child still won’t listen, what then, surely you can’t just let it slide? I entirely agree that parents need principles, but principles need not be enforced through intimidation (sternness is a kind of intimidation). @OursLeya mentioned in an answer his method for getting his child to eat on time, which is a very good example. In answering the question How can you be likable and still be yourself?, I also gave an example: 

I once saw on Weibo a mother whose daughter, in a fit of pique, demanded that she absolutely must buy her a present, and when the daughter threatened her, “If you don’t buy it, I won’t be good anymore!”, this is how she replied: 

“Sweetheart, even if you aren’t good, Mommy loves you all the same.” 

The child, it is said, immediately grew hesitant and drew in the quills she had raised. The mother did not meet hostility with hostility; she held her ground gently. That attitude let the child understand that buying or not buying the thing had nothing to do with whether she was loved; it was purely an isolated little matter. Much of the time, when we get angry at being refused, it is not over the thing itself, but because we feel the refusal means the other person does not hold us in their heart. If we can be certain that we are safe and loved, we naturally will not get angry over such small things. 

Gentle persistence, firmness without hostility: this is probably the best way to meet conflict with a child